I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
