He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
