I'm so fucking centered right now
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
