No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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