I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
