Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
