then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
