She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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