Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
