Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
