omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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