Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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