i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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