He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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