Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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