You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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