guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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