He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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