considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
