After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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