why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
