at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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