Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
