Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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