My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
