i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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