she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
