am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
