rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
