Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
