So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
