Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
