you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
