Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
