who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just googled if crying burns calories
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
