is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dignity is for republicans.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
