i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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