Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I want to have your abortion
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
