He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
