apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
