i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize