I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
