So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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