you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
