Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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