Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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