..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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