Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
