So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize