thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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