i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
