you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
