I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You can't special order awesome
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
