i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
