I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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