hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
did i just pee glitter
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
