I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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