another moral hangover. fuck.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
try to milk me bitch
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
