Duck Duck Cougar?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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